Workout

A few months ago I purchased a gigantic workout ball. I must admit that I was very excited about this purchase. The workout method looked way too fun to be painful. I felt like I had found the perfect way to get in shape. And, of course I saw Dwight on "The Office" using one ("forget everything you know about ab workouts"), so needless to say I was sold. This gigantic ball workout had everything I was looking for; something fun that I would actually look forward to and of course abs of steel.

I have yet to receive my abs of steel. It is for sure my fault though because I have not been so great at actually doing the workout. It was becoming like all my other workout videos, you know the ones where I think about doing it but then I decide I will just go for a walk instead. That I think is the gigantic ball exercise creator people's fault because it was not nearly as fun and painless as I anticipated. I mean my abs hurt the day after! So my new idea was to do the workout with Matthew because he would think it was great fun (also then I wouldn't have to do it during the precious nap, yeah that was my main goal-don't use up the precious nap hour).

So I got Matthew excited about it. He got out this big ball he has, it is not of course meant for working out, but since he is light it works. So we did it. Matthew is actually suprisingly good at following the workout lady's instructions (in fact, I think he did way better than me). I had to take a few pictures of him, which of course turned into him taking 578 pictures of me. I had to delete most of them because they were not flattering as he took most of them from behind me while I was on the ball. It was a blast. So it turns out the gigantic ball workout is fun after all, I guess I just needed the right workout partner.

The only picture of me suitable for public view. Also please notice above that Matthew's socks do not match and know that is all my doing. He complained for about 15 minutes about the socks but I finally convinced him it was ok.

Hallmark's Got Nothin' on This Kid

I never know what Matthew is going to say. He is always coming up with new phrases that always lead me to ask "Where did you get that?". Don't worry it really is never anything bad, just mostly surprising and humorous especially coming out of the mouth of a 3 year old. This week he has been on a roll with the sweet words. I guess someone tipped him off that Mother's Day is coming up.





All of these comments occurred after I helped Matthew in some way:

"Thank you Mama, you are a superhero."

"I can fish now because of you, Mama. I couldn't have done it without you."

"You still got it, Mom."


Last weekend I went to woman's conference at church when I got home on Saturday afternoon he came running to me and said "You're home. I missed you. I was so worried." (yeah I don't leave that much)



Yesterday while I was helping him with his shoes he moved a piece of my hair to the side and said "There you go, now you look just like a princess." (On a side note, I would hate to not share that after he said this princess bit he touched his own hair and said "There now I look like a tackling football player")

Watch out for this face....

Unfortunately we are still fine tuning the potty skills here in the Smith house. Well let me correct that some of us are still perfecting those skills, but 2/3 of us have it down pat. I must admit when people told me that potty training boys can take "awhile", I never imagined "awhile" would be this long!

He really is doing well for the most part, however we do have a poo problem. The poo never makes it to it's desired destination (or should I say my desired destination for it). At first Matthew was oblivious to the fact he had a poo problem, he was not bothered at all by toting around a pound of poo in his pants. He appeared to be completely shocked when I would mention the contents I found in those pants. I could have said, "Oh Matthew I just found a mama dog and 7 newborn puppies in your pants." and I would get the same reaction-complete surprise and shock.

We have now reached a new era in which he is very aware of what he is carrying around and is even bothered by any and all contents. From what I read this is good news (cause knowing is half the battle, right?), we are making some kind of poo progress. So he now hides while doing his duty. He will say something like "Oh I need to go upstairs to find something".

Of course, the silence warns me that something is amiss after he has been upstairs for a few minutes because he talks CONSTANTLY, except when engaging in naughty, time-out worthy activities. Then as I walk up the stairs I hear a door close. I walk into his room to find it empty with his closet door closed and the light on...hmmm I wonder where he could be. As I apporaoch the door I hear him say to himself "She's coming, I will be safe in here". I open the door to find Matthew as pictured above with his hands on his ears, apparently talking to his hands saying "keep plugging, keep plugging....". The first few times I would say "Why are you plugging your ears?" and he would say "I don't want to hear you tell me about my stinky pants." As you have probably guessed this has now happened so many times I no longer ask any questions, I know all too well.

I'm it! I have been tagged.

I have been tagged by my best girl and old (she herself is not old, although it is kinda funny to think about a young person moving into their college dorm to find their roommate is this really old person with false teeth and gray hair, wow that is funny, but it didn't happen to me) roommate, Rachel (http://www.huntforrachel.blogspot.com/) from my college days at SAU. Thanks Rach! She even said some nice things about me on her blog like that I was cool and funny, actually, not just funny, VERY funny (yeah she really did put very in all caps check it out if you don't believe me). What a nice gal she is!




Here are the rules of the game...

1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog

2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.



My incredibly interesting facts:

1. I CANNOT dance. I know there are a alot of people out there that make this claim, but I am really serious. I do not own dancing feet. Walking feet...yes, Tapping feet...yes, Running feet...at times, Happy feet...absolutely, Dancing feet....NOOOOO.

2. I went to 4 different colleges. I switched my major a few times and I have loads of credits, but just 1 degree. My Dad still refers to me as the college gypsy.

3. I am a weeny tiny, if I may steal Matthew's adjectives, bit cheap. I see pennies leaving my pockets when the heat or air kicks on, the refrigerator door is open, or the water is unnecessarily left running. When Erik asks me where I would like to go for a nice meal out I suggest Taco Bell (free Mountain Dew refills, baby).


4. I may have been the only teenager ever to not want to get my driver's license. I was perfectly fine with the idea of my mother driving me around everywhere, FOREVER. My parents MADE me get my license. During driver's training I would be so nervous my skin would get all red and blotchy and I would ask my instructor if my driving time slot could be at a quarter to never. What a weirdo!


5. Every night before I go to sleep I must check (at least once, sometimes twice) to make sure the oven and stove top are turned off regardless of whether they had even been used that day.

6. I absolutely love consignment shops and yard sales.

7. I have been informed that I am a moment killer, especially during movies. If there is a tense, sad, or sentimental moment I must kill the mood by cracking some sort of joke. I guess I should just stick to watching comedies.

I'm tagging...
My BFF Kate, the queen http://www.heartsonthehomefront.blogspot.com/

Multiple Personalities

These days Matthew is rarely Matthew. He spends most of his day pretending to be other people (or animals): Diego, Charlie, a lost puppy, Daddy, or a wild creature guy to name a few. That is great, right? I mean it shows he has a wonderful imagination. It is really great except lately I have been given the supporting actress role in every scenario. Which really in and of itself is not a huge deal if the scripts didn't come every five minutes and the director was not such a perfectionist.
His favorite at the moment is being Charlie and I play his little sister Lola. This is from the books and show appropriately named Charlie and Lola. I really do love Charlie and Lola, the show is hillarious and I have been known to watch it without Matthew. The problem is that this requires a British accent. If my accent slips a bit Matthew gives me a gentle reminder, "Um Mama, I am Charlie and you are Lola, but you are sounding like Mama. We will not be able to be Charlie and Lola if you don't talk like Lola."
When Matthew is Diego I am his older sister Alicia. When he is his Daddy I am Bob, Erik's boss. The lost puppy or kitty scenario is really best for me because it is completely unscripited. And sometimes I get to be an animal myself which requires no words at all. I am very well rounded. I must admit though, the acting can be quite draining and I have at times turned down a role or two (an hour).
It is really a win-win situation though. Matthew is entertained now and later when the time comes for me to return to the work force and if for some reason teaching doesn't work out for me, I always have my acting to fall back on.

Dot Com

Matthew has been very interested in the internet for the last few months. His Papine (my dad) shows him speed boats, airplanes, bugs, cars, and big trucks on the internet. Recenlty, he learned that you can find information there. While we were reading "Finding Nemo" he became interested in anglerfish and was asking me questions about them (which I of course know nothing about it, except they are pretty ugly according to the Nemo movie and book). So I said "Sorry honey I don't know anything about anglerfish, but we can look on the internet tomorrow and find out more about them."
As soon as he woke up the next morning he says "Let's check on the innanet for anglerfish. Go to anglerfish.com."
That is how it all started, now he wants to seek the information highway for all of his many questions.
Outside he says, "Mama, what is this bug's name."
I say "Hmmm, I am not sure."
He says, "Oh we better check on the innanet on bugs.com"

At my parent's house while washing his hands he smells the soap and asks "What kind of soap is this, Mama."
I say, " I don't know."
He say, "I think we should check on the innanet. Can you go to soap.com?"

Our neighbors have a pool which he can see from his room. They currently have an inflatable alligator by the pool. Matthew is very intrigued by the alligator.
He says "What is that alligator doing over there?"
He didn't even give me a chance to respond. Maybe he has realized I don't always have the answers.
"Come on, let's go check on the innanet. Just click on alligator.com"



Thank you, wise "innanet" for having all the answers....so I don't have to.

My Very Own Boy Band

Everybody has to Answer to Somebody

Matthew was hugging Erik yesterday morning before he left for work..
Erik: "Bye, buddy. Be good for Mama today, ok?"
Matthew: "Ok, bye Daddy. Be good for Bob your boss."

New Camera Man: A Picture Essay of His Favorite Things

Matthew has a new passion for photography. I thought it would be selfish of me not to share some of his recent photos. His favorite time to pursue this endeavor is during my shower when he is supposed to be staying out of trouble and watching tv. One day last week I came out to find him with the camera and 40 new pictures taken! Here are just a few....

Here is a picture of rocket.
This is me walking into the room, no doubt saying something like "What are you doing?". I later found another one of me and let's just say I deleted very quickly and will from this moment on check my pics very carefully before showing them to anyone!

What we have here is the cat's back and tail. I have several of this cat from this angle and others that are not as flattering.

The rocking chair on the front porch

This is Diego, of course, and what looks to me like the top half of a tapir.

Yet, another picture of Diego on tv. I have about 20 of these. If you have not seen this particular Diego just let me know, I pretty much have a frame by frame of it on my camera.

Pantry Fun

At our house, the pantry isn't just a closet filled with food...it is a closet full of fun. It isn't just a door I open to find a snack, what's for dinner, or to make a grocery list. In fact, the door stays open pretty much all day unless Matthew is sleeping or hiding in it. I am pretty sure it is Matthew's favorite room in the house, if it were considered a room that is. So here is just a glimpse of the fun we have with our pantry and it's contents.



On this particular day, our canned goods gathered on the table (with Matthew's help, of course) for church. I am very glad that our canned goods would go to church and even more delighted that Matthew would invite and take them there. However, since they cannot walk and the one who invited them often forgets to take them back to their home, I would be ok if their church attendance were sporadic.

No, this is not a picture of Matthew competing in a "chubby bunny" contest, but by the looks of it he would be quite good at that. This contest's name is something like "stuff as many marshmallows in your mouth as fast as you can before you get caught". Matthew normally asks to eat marshmallows and I normally say no (that is probably why he took matters into his own hands). He now adds after asking "Marshmallows don't have too much sugar in them Mama." Which is true comparitively speaking...like compared to a chocolate covered donut with sprinkles on top, marshmallows don't have too much sugar.

Erik says to me a few nights ago, "Megan you might want to go to Walmart tomorrow. We are down to only one dinsaur in the pantry."

BIG Snow in the South

It has officially been FOREVER, since I posted last. It is not that our life has been free of humor or activity I just was too lazy to write about it. Anyway, tonight here in TN we are receiving winter-like weather. In fact, we have a winter weather advisory currently in effect. It stopped snowing 3 hours ago leaving us with a light dusting of snow (possibly an accumulation of half an inch). There is absolutely no snow on the roads. EVERY school within a 25 mile radius has been cancelled for tomorrow. I saw on the local news that people were flocking to the stores at first sight of snow to stock up on essentials (milk, beer, cigarettes and bread..not necessarily in that order, but it was the order that the cashier interviewed used). Dearest family and friends do not worry about us, we have a couple of days supply of bread and milk (and we can live without the other 2 local "essentials").

The Party

On Saturday night we attended Erik's office Christmas party. Just getting ready for the event was enough to convince me I am most definitely going to be sick all Saturday nights next December, so I will regretfully be unable to attend the joyful Christmas party of 2008. I am not one to normally worry about what to wear, but I was on Saturday. This was our first Christmas party with these people and actually the first time I had met any of them.
I asked Erik a couple of weeks ago what I would need to wear. He asked around and the women said in the past they had worn dresses some years and other years just dress pants and a nice sweater. So it was decided I would wear my dress pants and sweater. The closer the event got the more I worried about whether my attire would be nice enough. I mean Erik was going to wear his suit, the event was at a country club. So I, of course, was freaked out by Friday. I purchased a nice button up shirt that was a little extra dressy I thought. I didn't try it on because Matthew was SO ready to go. So I try it on that afternoon in the comfort of my own home and it is so very cute, so I am absolutely delighted. Only one small problem, it was a little snug in one area which would have been fine for one night, but once washed and worn it would look like those buttons were about to burst (not the look I am generally going for). That night Erik gets home from work and I show him my purchase and he doesn't think it is dressy enough. So after dinner and getting the little one off to bed I venture back out into the sea of Christmas shoppers to see if I can find anything to wear. I thought this would be a simple chore. Boy, was I wrong! I went to the big mall instead of the closer small mall. I generally remember mall layouts and what is where after visiting a mall one or two times, but this mall has the craziest set up, I have been there several times and still cannot figure the place out. That, of course, means I did numerous laps around the two story shopping area. I found NOTHING. I thought the mall closed at 10 (I later found out it was 11, can you believe it) so at 9:45 I gave up and ran into the store where I had bought the shirt earlier and got a bigger size. Yes, I know it was still the one Erik didn't think was dressy enough, but I was just relieved to be going home.
The next day Mom and I had a Christmas bazaar all day where we took Creative Memories stuff to sell, so I didn't get a chance to try on my new attire together. I decided to wear the nice sweater I had originally planned for the party to the bazaar all day. As I am about to step out the door for the bazaar Erik says "Are you sure you don't want to wear that sweater tonight, it looks good". Is there anyway I would change what I was wearing at that point? No way! So I go to the bazaar and come home, get Matthew something to eat. I wanted to give Matthew a bath too before we left, so I took him upstairs. Of course, he needed to go to the bathroom. His potty seat was downstairs so I decided to just sit him on the potty without it rather than run downstairs. I have done this numerous times before but of course this day of all days, he sends pee shooting all over the bathroom and on me. I just laughed because I was wearing the sweater and some jeans-- no problem it's not like I was going to be wearing that to the party! As our departing time is drawing near I get dressed and find the new shirt looks goofy and is too big. Mom let me borrow some other things, so I am not completely panicked until I try them on and they all look awful on me. So 30 minutes later I am walking out the door in (drum roll please) the original dress pants and sweater. That's right, I shopped and worried for hours only to attend the all important party in the old dress pants and the pee sweater that I had worn all day.

Brainy Booger

Matthew comes walking toward me the other day with something tiny on his finger.
The young boy says "Look at this on my finger Mama."
I, as the mother can only wonder and ask while he is still quite a ways off "What is it?". I like to ask him before I see it for myself so I can direct him to the trash can (since he generally shows me things that belong there) before it ends up in my face.
He says "It a piece of my brain."
I say "A piece of your brain? Where did it come from?"
He answers "My brain coming out my nose."

Big 3

Matthew turned 3 last week. I still can't believe he is 3! He told me for weeks that for his birthday he wanted a cake and the "shake and go track... the cars go fast and crash". Well he got what he wanted and then some. It took 3 dedicated adults, 6 AA batteries, a screwdriver, a pair of scissors, and an hour and a half to get all of his presents out of the packaging and into proper working order. My living room is still covered with toys. In fact, Matthew still thinks his party is going on. He will come and ask me "Do you want to join my party, Mama?". It is hard to say no to that and plus new toys are always fun! Who knows how long this party will last!

Death by Chocolate

These pants were brand new (not consignment store or hand me down new, the real new). Unfortunately, their first time out the wearer of these pants had a chocolate shake (which was more like ice cream) and a very independent and stubborn spirit. Death by chocolate is real. I have washed these pants 4 times and some chocolate still remains.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

So Erik has a Playstation 2 and he plays football, hockey, or golf on there from time to time. Matthew has a controller too that he plays with. He has a blast playing (or pretending to play anyway). These sports games are all made by EA Sports so when they first come on you hear their slogan "EA sports, it's in the game".

So every time Matthew sees one of these games or sports on tv he repeats what he believes the slogan to be "EA sports a silly game".

Skeletons

For the last month Matthew has been very interested in skeletons. I think it all started with dinosaur books, they always have the skeletons. He has a book all about skeletons that show different animal skeletons and human ones as well. He talks constantly about his skeleton. In the book at the beginning it says something to the effect of, if you did not have any bones you would be as shapeless as a jellyfish. I know this without looking because Matthew tells everyone this little fun fact. This is what he says to nearly everyone within shouting distance "Hi. My name Matthew. If I didn't have my skeleton I be a jellyfish". I am really quite proud of him for remembering everything I read him. It is however a funny thing for a nearly 3 year old to talk about, not to mention he does not say skeleton perfectly, so when he says it people look to me for a translation. Being the only known translator of Mattish, I am obligated to say "Hi. My name Matthew. If I didn't have my skeleton I be a jellyfish" in perfect adult English. Some people look at me like they think I just made up the skeleton part myself (it would be really funny if I did make things up in translation, I don't but I may start).

Matthew has been very excited seeing Halloween stuff in the stores because of all the skeletons. My Mom even found him a skeleton shirt last week that glows in the dark. This Halloween was the first year Matthew dressed up. I had gotten him a Thomas the train costume a couple of weeks ago on sale (YES!!!). So we dressed him up and took him to a couple of houses in our neighborhood. He knocked, said "trick or treat"and "thank you", went "whooo-hooo" when anyone asked him about his costume, told one lady her candle inside of her house smelled good, and kissed a couple of dogs. When we got home we sat outside and handed out candy. Matthew decided he would like to wear his skeleton shirt. I thought he would just enjoy seeing it glow in the dark and have fun seeing other kids dressed up. He decided to run around the yard saying "boo" to all the kids that entered. He made sure he said "boo" to everyone (even the parents driving by slowly watching their kids) and often added "I a skeleton, I spoooookyy". Most of the kids were older and just laughed or pretended to be scared. It was pretty funny. Our neighbors across the street always have a big spooky set up, they go all out, so it was fun being across the street having my little spooky skeleton make everyone laugh. I think I may rent him out next year!

Scary Is....

The way your child can act at times (you know the kind of behavior that makes you want to shout "Who are you???") and then complain that their ear hurts (4 days after finishing antibiotics for an ear infection) . You think "Oh, I guess the ear infection didn't clear up, back to the doctor. This explains why he has been acting like *that* child every time we are in public and cries at least 3 times a day claiming I have hurt his feelings."

Even Scarier.....
Going to the doctor convinced you have it all figured out only to hear "His ears look great".


There goes that excuse!


** That child by definition, is any child that you saw in the grocery store, restaurant, family gathering, etc.. pre-parenthood (or even as a parent of a newborn) that behaved in such a way that everyone was sure to notice and made you think or even say aloud "When I have kids they will never act like that!".

Putting #2 in it's Place

We have been working on this potty training stuff for a little while now. You know, low pressure a few times a day. Matthew always goes (#1) while on the potty (unfortunately he also still goes in his diaper as well). This week we have been trying more often (it seems like ALL we do). And he did the all important #2 on the potty! I was so excited and, of course, told him time and time again how proud I was.

Same day an hour later we are shopping at Target. A woman smiles at him and he says "I went poo poo on the potty", she snickers and replies "Good job!". I shoot her a "I-am-so-sorry-my-son-is-telling-you-about his-bowel-movement" glance and we move on.

We check out and the cashier is very friendly and she talks to Matthew. She says "Did you look at all the fun Halloween things?" Matthew does not reply with a yes or no but with "I went poo poo on the potty". She starts clapping and congratulating him as do the 3 other kind women waiting in line behind us. Talk of his potty achievements definitely trump Halloween talk. As soon as we leave the store Matthew says "The ladies like me, Mama".

Many hours later Daddy comes home and we decide to treat ourselves to a little dinner out (you gotta love a dinner out). The waitress asks "Can I get you guys anything?"
Matthew replies (yeah, you know his line by now) "I went poo poo on the potty."
Only the waitress didn't hear him and has taken a few steps from the table, so she says "What honey?"
Matthew, of course then belts out his line of the day "I WENT POO POO ON THE POTTY".
Well if you are ever out to eat and would like to grab the attention of ALL of your fellow restaurant patrons, then by all means use these words of Matthew's. We did indeed capture every one's attention. The young waitress, barely able to contain her laughter manages to get out some sort of congratulatory phrase and Matthew also receives smiles and nods of approval from the inhabitants of nearby tables.

Later that evening I was talking to my mom (I of course told her the big news) on the phone and she said to be sure to pass on their congrats to the little potty user. I get off the phone and tell him how proud Mine and Papine (grandma and grandpa Beachy) are of him and his recent achievement.
He looks at me and says "The whole world proud of me".

Wild Creatures

Matthew is very fond of "wild creatures" and has been for most of this year. He has been talking about "wild creatures" since March I think. I don't know where these words came from. I certainly didn't teach him to call any living non-human thing a wild creature (I do seriously suspect Diego had something to do with it though). We have spent countless hours searching for these creatures outdoors. Thankfully bugs count, so they aren't too hard to come by!



Matthew has recently fallen in love with the tv channel Animal Planet. He loves watching anything on there (even shows with snakes much to my dismay). So last week he saw the show with Jeff Corwin. There was a big tiger and the man was talking about his paws and pads, fur, ears, and all the other parts. So my little Jeff Corwin calls me over to view our very own snoozing beast: Mac the cat.



Matthew (or little Jeff) says: "See the wild creature. He in his cave sleeping."
He picks up his paw and shows me, "See he's paw and he's pads on he's paws." The beast sleeps on. So then Matthew goes for the tail, "This is he's long tail." Then he tries opening the beasts mouth. The beast wakes and starts walking away. Matthew says in a whisper while crawling on his hands and knees "Let's follow him." We trail him for quite some time with Matthew's "spotting scope" in hand (not because we need it or that it would even work if we did need it, but because wild creature hunts require such equipment). Whenever the creature stopped Matthew explained more of the beast's body parts until we had pretty much covered it all. It was very informational. We are very thankful to have had such a cooperative creature to work with because we know others (ie..Emma the other beast that resides in the Smith house) would not have been nearly so accommodating.





I love the way Matthew's little mind works. And I absolutely adore an African safari that can take place in the comfort of my own home.

Mini Meteorologist

"This weekend will be cloudy and mild with temperatures in the mid 50's and an 85% chance of me being completely wrong."

Matthew is now our in-house weather expert. He and his trusty drumstick enjoy bringing us the 7 day forecast. It may not be the correct forecast for our particular area, but what he lacks in accuracy, he makes up for in adorability (that is not really a word I know, but if it were it would mean his ability to be adorable).

*The meteorologists on the Weather Channel have been blacked out in the photos in order to protect their identity (really my camera just does that when it takes a picture of the TV, but I thought I would make it sound like I did it on purpose).

Since I Didn't Have a Bar of Soap

Yesterday, Matthew uttered the all-naughty, super bad, "s" word. You know the one, it starts with "s" and ends with "tupid". It, of course is an acceptable word after the ripe old age of 13, but it is punishable to the fullest extent of the law beforehand. (At least, that is the way it worked in our house when I was growing up - no saying shut-up, stupid, or butt -bottom was preferred). Not that on a person's 13th birthday they are given a wrapped gift with a box containing a piece of paper that says "you may now use the word stupid when talking about rules and other inanimate objects, but with the exception of describing people", it is an unspoken rule, it is just all of the sudden not such a bad thing (my guess is as a parent of a teenager the least of your worries is your kid saying stupid). I think that may be the way things will work in our house too, I don't know when exactly it will become ok for Matthew to say that word (probably by age 22) I just know that I don't want him to use that word now. Back to the story, if the "s" word were a ship this would not be considered it's maiden voyage sailing on out of my toddler's mouth. No, this ship had sailed a few times before. The trouble with toddlers and naughty words is that the first couple of times they say it you think-- Did he just say what I think he said?-- and then you have 3 choices:


1. Punish him for possibly something he didn't really say.


2. Respond with "Did you just say _____?" and run the risk of giving him a new word if that was not at all the word he was attempting.


3. Ignore the word this time, wait and see if it is uttered again to ensure it is the offensive word you believe it to be.



I had previously chosen option number 3... until yesterday. It was completely clear and especially horrible. There was no way to deny it this time, I heard every letter of that word as if he were spelling it out, in slow motion: S-T-U-P-I-D, looking directly at me waiting for my reaction. I promptly took him to the spare bedroom so that he could serve his 2 and a half minute time out. The spare bedroom is like the Alcatraz of time outs because not only is it conveniently and cleverly located in the only room without toys it is also home to the cats' litter box. So there is absolutely no chance of him finding his way to a toy while I am not looking and no chance of escaping the smell of the litter box.
I think I may have stumbled upon a new form of discipline here. For instance, if the next time the "s" word comes to mind, he immediately thinks about stinky cat poop and opts not to use the naughty word then my plan is indeed successful. If this works I may be exploring and compiling more discipline tactics (like maybe having him clean out the litter box during a time out or eating undesirable vegetables). I may even write a book, maybe titled Alternative Discipline. Yeah, be on the lookout for that.

The Protesting Cat

This is Emma. This is what she does every time the water bowl reaches or plunges below its minimum acceptable level or if it is not as fresh as she would like. She stages a sit in of sorts. She just sits there and stares at me until the problem is remedied. I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow she is picketing in front of the litter box with a sign that reads "Heck no, we won't go".

Weekend Pics

Saying Goodbye to Another Trusty Old Friend

Matthew, apparently in the mode of getting rid of all things baby, decided to be done with his womb bear this week and send him into early (not real early, just earlier than I thought) retirement. Don't worry, the womb bear received a decent severance package and will be living in the "baby closet" until another little one needs comforting (he initially wanted to use his time off to travel but has since found the closet to be quite relaxing).

Matthew tossed the bear out of the crib and when I inquired, he simply said "I don't like him anymore".

For those of you who have never heard of a womb bear, it is just a stuffed animal with a box inside that plays a recording of actual womb sounds. Don't ask me how they recorded these sounds, I just know Matthew NEEDED it when he was a baby to drift off to sleep and as he has grown a bit it helps drown out some outside noise so he can fall asleep.

This bear has been essential. He has been a part of the family since February 2005. I searched and searched to find him on the internet and payed 40 whole dollars for him. Now for those of you who know me and my spending habits, know that is HUGE (I generally don't buy anything over $10 unless it is absolutely vital to keep our hearts beating, blood pumping, and stomachs from starving).

Before the bear we had this little light that attached to the crib and it would light up and play the womb sounds when Matthew would cry. This product was great except the sounds only lasted 5 minutes and it turned on only when someone was crying. Now this was when Matthew was just a couple of months old and he would be nearly sleeping when the womb sounds turned off. I was, of course, sleep deprived, loony, and desperate to have a sleeping baby to call my own, so I would watch the clock, sprint on my tip toes, jump over the 3 squeaky floor boards into Matthew's room seconds before the 5 minute mark, and say "wah, wah, waaaah" quietly into the sensor to keep the womb sounds playing without disturbing my bundle of sleepless nights, I mean joy. Erik showed his support by laughing uncontrollably on the other end of the monitor while I was fake crying. Needless to say, I was very happy (nearly to the point of real tears) to find a womb bear with the sounds that played for 40 long luxurious minutes and could be turned on and off with the flip of a switch.

Now the bear's services are no longer necessary, my baby is growing up.......Wah, wah, waaaaah.

Close....But Still Not Quite Right

As I set Matthew's dinner plate in front of him....
Matthew says "Thank you, sir." (Matthew calls me sir ALL the time, but I don't often correct him because is so young and he is still being polite)
Erik: "Mama is a girl, so you say thank you, ma'am."
Matthew: "Oh ok, Daddy."
I deliever a cup to the table.
Matthew shoots a quick glance toward Erik and then looks at me and says with pride and confidence: "Thank you, man."

What Can You Buy With 2 Used Pacifiers?

Apparently a pacifier's worth increases with age and use. I am pretty sure I didn't pay more than $5 for a pack of 2 pacifiers brand new, but this weekend those same pacifiers bought Matthew a big boy bike. Yes, that's right, you heard it here first, used pacifiers are not just germy baby soothers anymore. ****(Please read the post in it's entirety before taking out your life savings to purchase pacifiers)*** Since pacifiers are not (yet and probably never will be unless toddlers some day rule the country) recognized as acceptable American currency we had to use some cash as well. Matthew paid his part in pacifiers and Daddy and Mama paid for the rest. Matthew was very brave and did not shed a tear during the transaction.

He is ready to ride.

He has the mount and dismount down, but we are definitely still working on the pedaling.

Matthew and the bike have spent more time like this than with him actually riding. He likes pushing it around. We know he is a little bit young for a bike but it was something that he is really interested in, which worked well as an incentive for saying adios to the pacifier, and he was nearly too big for a tricycle. So we will keep practicing (we'll get lots of practice especially once it cools down and isn't a million degrees outside).

When Matthew turned one year old we locked up the pacifiers in the crib and threw away the key (metaphorically speaking, of course) so he only had them for sleep (and other rare occassions, like long trips).

So he really only noticed his pacifiers were gone before sleep times and the first day and night his bike was by his side for the tough times, nap time and bedtime. The first night was pretty rough, he woke up quite a bit, but never asked for the pacifiers....he just cried for anything and everything else ("Mama, I want watch cartoons. Mama, I want my car. I need hug. Mama, I want to touch my bike.). But the last 2 nights have been virtually fuss-free. It really has been alot easier than I thought it would be.

I hope I can say that same thing once Matthew is completely potty trained, but I know I won't!

What's this?

Last week when our 2 year old inquirer was bathing we were talking about body parts. First up, the chin. Then the young boy asks "Who's this guy?"(everything is a who, he never asks what, which is funny but a little embarassing at the grocery store when he appears to be looking at another shopper, but is really refering to the chips behind him, I try to answer quickly but you can tell the previously mentioned shopper is already looking a little nervous like we are talking about him and not the cheddar flavored rice cakes behind him), with his hand on his neck, he wasn't just interested in what the part was called but also it's function. So I told him it was his neck and it held his head up. He liked that answer and thought it a little funny. Then he puts both his hands on his cheeks (not the ones on his face, by the way, the ones further south) and asks...........

"Who's these guys?"

I say "That is your bottom."

He removes one hand from one butt cheek and says "Well who's this one?"

I say"That is your bottom too."

So in my mind I am already thinking about how I am going to respond to what his bottom's function is since I know that will be his next question. I was wrong.

The boy turns around, holds on to the bar in the bathtub, starts shaking that newly discovered bottom and says "My bottom helps me dance, see Mama. It helps me dance to (the) beat."

That is definitely not the function I was thinking of.

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall Who's the Handsomest Stud of All.......

....today Matthew would definitely answer that he is, of course (which wins him the vain toddler award as well). He got his hair cut yesterday. I tried to cut the back yesterday morning. I thought it looked awful and I was too scared to continue so Erik the brave, finished it last night. We strapped Matthew into his chair at the table and fed him ice cream and let him spray us (and everything else in the kitchen) with the water bottle. When he would get fussy I would distract him with the water bottle, ice cream, or tell him how handsome he was going to be when his hair was all cut. Normally, being handsome is not really a priority for Matthew, so I didn't imagine he would remember what I had said. It has not even been 24 hours since the hair cut and Matthew has said 8 times already, "I be right back, I gonna go see in the window (mirror)." He runs into our room to the mirrored closet doors, looks and says "I so handsome".

He just caught a glimpse of himself in this picture and said it again....I think we may need some sort of vanity intervention!

Why I Will Now Think Twice Before Taking A Bathroom Break

Hmm...I wonder how much finger paint I would have to buy to cover the whole wall? I really don't like that wallpaper anyway. Don't worry, even though I would LOVE another reason (besides my reason of just severe dislike) to replace this wallpaper, it was washable paint and is now restored to it's original color.

The Older Woman

Yesterday at church, when Erik and I went to pick Matthew up from his classroom we heard a funny story about our little lover boy. Normally there is a husband and wife team that teach (as much as you can teach 2 yr olds anyway) in his class. The husband was not there so it was just the wife and then their daughter came in a little later to help out. So when this tall, blond, beautiful teenage girl walks in my (scratch that) Erik's son takes one look at her and walks over and says "Oh, I need a kiss". She let him kiss her on the cheek, apparently it was love at first sight. I would normally be completely against him being interested in a girl nearly 10 times his age, but she is real cute, nice and a church-going gal so I guess I can't complain.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

As much as I would like to tell you this was Matthew's attempt to put his sandals on by himself, I cannot lie, I must admit I did this. Not only did I just put them on the wrong feet I almost left the house like this! We were about to walk out the door when I realized Matthew had put my phone on the floor. When I bent down to pick up the phone I noticed my mistake. Poor kid, I am really glad I caught it before heading out, to avoid all the laughing and pointing I could have endured at Walmart while pushing around my wrong-shoed toddler.

He May be Too Small to Ride One, But You Are Never Too Small to Use One

Erik, Matthew and I were having a snack in the living room the other night. We all had drinks, Erik and I had ours on coasters. We were talking and Matthew lifted his cup up to take a drink and he notices that he is the only one not using a coaster. Before he can even take a sip he nervously says "Oh, I need roller coaster for my drink".

My Diaper Buying Addiction

What's with all the diapers?

Did I win the lottery and spend all my winnings on diapers?
Am I planning to adopt another toddler?
Am I fearing a natural disaster and preparing for weeks of never leaving home?
Am I looking for a way to ensure my toddler will be potty trained by nightfall?

Well the answer is no to all of those (except the last one would be alright, but that wasn't my original plan). The answer of course is that these diapers were on clearance! Clearanced diapers are not common (it is something mothers only dream of). Diapers are often on sale for a week or you can have a coupon for them, but they are rarely clearanced. I don't know if Pampers is coming out with something new or my store just had too many. I don't know the reason, and I guess I don't really care! I normally buy the cheap diapers, but these were such a good price they were even 7 cents cheaper per diaper than the cheap diapers!!!

I found the clearance last Tuesday and bought one box. Then I found a coupon for a dollar off on top of that and went back Monday to buy one more box. Then yesterday I thought, well maybe I will just check and see if they have any more (since I only had 152 diapers at home). There were 4 boxes left, all the size I needed, I felt that was definitely a sign from above and bought 2 more boxes. I just could not help myself! I love a good deal and getting that one clearanced box last week made me smile for days, so I will be smiling for weeks now with 4 boxes (that's 328 diapers)!

I keep thinking about the 2 boxes I left behind, but I am going to try to stay out of Target for the remainder of the week. Yeah, I think steering clear of that store is in my best interest, considering my recent addiction and the store's ability to feed that addiction.




........ Besides, if those 2 boxes are still there next week, they are bound to get marked down even more.

The Bag

This is the bag that I carry everywhere. I like to think that it is my bag. I mean I carry it and it is purse-like, but Matthew always says when we are out "Something from my bag please?". I didn't really give it too much thought until Friday night. Erik and I were going out for our anniversary (5 yrs., can you believe it?). I very rarely go anywhere without Matthew, so I took a look inside my bag and thought I could definitely leave a few toddler related items at home. This is what I found during the inventory........

3 matchbox cars, 2 cell phones (one real, one that only calls Disney's Lightning McQueen), wallet, diaper and wipes, gum, a book about trucks, Spiderman magnadoodle thing, coupons, shark shades, 2 packs of fruit snacks, 1 pack granola bites, Yogos, crayons, handy dandy notebook, keys, raisins, 2 suckers and plenty of sucker wrappers.

I took out all of Matthew's things and this is what I ended up with....

If ownership of the bag depends on the number of items that are actually yours inside I have definitely lost (Matthew-18 items, me-4 items). I guess Matthew was right, the bag is his and it makes sense that he has more stuff because I am not the one who gets cranky and needs a distraction while running errands and I am potty trained, afterall.

Not the Response He was Looking for

At dinner last night, Erik and Matthew are looking out the window talking about animals and bugs that they see. Matthew says something to the effect of wanting to be an animal so.....

Erik says "What animal would you like to be?".

Matthew replies "A pony".

Erik is a bit disappointed, hoping for a more manly animal. I think it has to do with the word used, a horse would have been alright to say, but maybe a pony was just a little too close for comfort to the girly line (for example My Little Ponies -very girly, if there were such a thing as My Little Horses--maybe boys could have played with them too, minus the long flowing colorful hair, of course).

Erik says,"What about a tiger, Matthew, wouldn't you like to be a tiger? Or a lion? A snake?", obviously trying to sell him on a more manly, no where near sissy, sort of animal.

Matthew answers excitedly "No, I want to be ladybug".